No news is good news ...

Normally, I would agree with the old cliché that "No News Is Good News." But in the online dating world, no news means no one is looking at your profile. I wonder why? I have gotten only two views in the last 10 days so I'm starting to wonder what's going on. I think it's one of the following reasons:

1. I'm just too high maintenance and they think they need to maintain me (I am high maintenance but like I tell everyone, "I can maintain myself")
2. I'm ugly, old, not interesting, etc.
3. The guys are just lazy
4. Guys are dating less because it is taking a backseat to summer sports season
5. Everyone has recognized they are never going to be Mr. Perfect for me so they gave up
6.  I'm just too fabulous that it hurts their eyes to keep staring at the selfie photo of me hamming it up at the White House

   
   

   I mean I read the rules of setting up my online profile (i.e. I read a hilarious article on what not to do here: www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-your-online-dating-profile-isnt-working/)  and still nothing. Maybe its a combination of all six reasons?

    

I really am a great catch ...

"Being a leader is like being a lady. If you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't." Margaret Thatcher.
I love Mrs. Thatcher because she had a knack for putting things in ways normal, non-political people could understand.  Her quote is aptly applicable in online dating. In other words, if you have to tell people, "I'm a great guy/gal" then you probably aren't.

Think about it for a minute. If you are such a great catch, why are you still single? Great catches get swooped up pretty quickly. Great catches do not need to tell people they are great catches. Great catches get treated wonderfully. Great catches know they are great catches without having to say it.In fact, great catches don't really see themselves as "great catches" but normal, humble people.

Come on, be honest with us. Have you ever chatted with your girlfriends over a glass of wine and said, "I don't know why I can't find any decent men, I'm a great gal"? Oh, I'm sure you have. I've heard this from guys and gals.

OK, let's look at it from another angle. How many dates have you gone on in the past six months? 5, 10, 15, 20? And you were always a great catch and they were? Do you not see a common denominator here (i.e. you)?

I recently had a guy on a date tell me that he was a great catch and that he had lots of dates each month. I asked him what was wrong with him then if he hadn't been swooped up by Ms Right. He said (quite seriously might I add), "nothing's wrong with me." And, that is what's wrong with you, you conceited, clueless idiot.

I implore you ladies and gentlemen -- REALLY look at your profile on the dating website. If you say anything like "I'm a great guy/gal", delete it now! And for God's sake do not pull the old "my friends say I'm a great catch" BS. Even if your friends do say that its because they are your friends and they are trying to be supportive by not bringing you down and listing all your faults.  They know your faults and if they are really good friends (and you let them be brutally honest) they will tell you what your faults are so you can fix them. Better yet, get your friends to honestly tell you your faults so you can warn potential dates about them on your profile (e.g. my friend Mary tells me I am picky, a procrastinator and always late so I tell my dates that in advance. Thanks for being honest, Mary!).