There is no perfect formula ...

I talk to some of my female friends who have used online dating sites before and each has their own little system for meeting and getting to know men online. One uses this formula in this exact order (and God help the guy who doesn't follow the proper order of things):

1. He "likes" me
2. I "like" him
3. He "winks" and me
4. I "wink" at him
5. He messages me
6. I reply 
7. He has to ask me to meet in person first

Of course I have other friends who say they don't have time for all that mess so they e-mail a guy they think looks good immediately skipping all that hullabaloo liking and winking and waiting. And to all the guys who like or wink that they don't like? They ignore them.

I'm kind of in the middle of those two. If I like the way a guy looks, I like (since I'm not a big fan of the wink) or smile at him. To me, a wink is similar to an innuendo for intimacy and I don't know you that well yet :-)

I always answer an e-mail even if its to say I am not interested. I mean, the guy went out on a limb to message me and didn't bother with the wink or like, he deserves a response for his gutsy-ness. I don't always e-mail a man I'm interested in first without "liking" something about his photos or profile but when I do, you know his profile or photos were pretty darned good!

Bottom line is (I'm saying this to the guys), we gals all have a different way to show our interest (or disinterest). We don't always wink back or "like" you back or respond to your message immediately. Some ladies don't respond at all if they are not interested and some will respond with a polite "no thank you". But here are a few rules of thumb to remember (good use for men and women):

• If a person has been "online" within the past 24 hours and has not responded to your wink, like, smile or message that you sent 3 days ago, they are probably not interested. It's not shampoo, do not rinse and repeat (i.e. send another wink, like, smile, e-mail). It's simple, they don't like you so they are ignoring you., just prentend like you are ignoring them back.
•  If a person e-mails you without doing all the winking, smiling, liking, etc. first or in a particular order, it doesn't mean they are "ignoring the rules" and should be written off altogether. It probably means they just don't want to fiddle with the small stuff.  You should take it as a compliment that they find you so intriguing that they want to get to know you immediately.
• Silence is not always golden. Respond to a message even if its to let them down easy. Just think of how you would feel if you were in a crowded room and you spoke to someone and they ignored you. Same, same.
• If someone ignores you or responds with a "no thank you" or "I don't' think we are compatible" or any other form of rejection (yes, its rejection, you will get rejected, deal with it), drop it an move on. As my sister says (jokingly of course but some truth to it), there are plenty of other fish in the toilet. No, they won't change their minds, no they are not joking with you, no they won't meet you and realize they couldn't live another day without you. Constantly sending smiles, winks, likes and messages will make you look clingy and needy and if they didn't like you enough before, they certainly won't like you now.