In the beginning, there was a dating site ...

A few friends of mine told me they had great luck with online dating. Hmmm, I never have but thought about it long and hard for a few weeks and just last week thought "what the hell". So, I jumped in feet first and signed up for  an account with one of the more obscure  dating websites. Why? Well, for a few reasons:

1. I'm not getting any younger
2. I'm pretty technically savvy, how hard can this be?
3. I'm a busy woman, why not let someone else (or something else -- a system of algorithms) sift through my potential soulmates lol
4. It could be fun, or at least comical (better than spending $15 to go see one movie)
5. Thousands of other people are doing it successfully
6. It makes great blogging stories :-)

Well, not one to be shy, I decided it was going to be a no-holds-barred profile. The guys looking at my profile would KNOW what they were getting into. So here is what it says (in a nutshell):

• My REAL height and weight (no seriously, I weigh myself every week and update as necessary)
• What I am really looking for in a man -- none of that basic love, communication, humor, handsome bullshit -- real stuff like (but not limited to):
•  A guy who is secure in his masculinity to hold my purse while I shop
• Someone who takes me to tablecloth and silverware restaurants at least twice a year
• A dude who can speak his mind and not be afraid for me to speak mine
• Someone with healthy self esteem (I already raised a child, I ain't raising another one)
• Someone with a good job, goals, ambitions and has sorted out his retirement funding
• Must be able to tell the difference between soup and tea spoons -- basic etiquette
•  Actually knows how to tie a tie and can wear one with a suit he owns 
• has read at least one classic novel in the past 3 years
• Must NOT want me to bear children in the future! There's a reason I have only one child.
• My honest dislikes:
• No farting, burping, grunting or other rude noises in public
• Lives to hunt/fish/bike etc
• Wants to make me hunt/fish/bike/camp or otherwise do any outdoors activities
• Spends more time at sporting events or talking about sports than talking to me
• Is cheap/frugal
• Is a work-a-holic
• Egotistical, conceited, narcissistic -- there is only one demi-god in this relationship and I am it :-)
• Rude, unkind (to humans and/or animals), ignorant, irrational, ill-mannered people
• Icky teeth and hygiene
• Unhealthy people who don't care about their fitness
•  I uploaded 7 photos of me taken in the last 6-10 month

With my criteria set for men in any state between the ages of 40-50, let's see what the system comes up with. I'm hoping for the best but prepared for the worst!