Dating detective ...

I like to text just as much as the next gal but I don't want to text for hours and hours on end with a guy I just met. I made the mistake of giving my phone number to a new dating partner ONCE. He would text me every hour and send me loads of videos, photos, links, etc. and get mad when I didn't respond immediately (he was a trust fund baby so he had loads of time to text all day whereas I have a full time job). At first, I liked the attention but after about a day, it was annoying! Dude, I don't have time to text you every other hour, I got things to do today! I tell you this because I have gotten several requests from men at the online dating site to give my phone number so we can text. Um, no. First of all, I'll meet you face to face first -- I might not like you once I meet you in person so what's the point in me texting you. Second, are you so pitiful that you can't put a voice to your profile photos (i.e. phone me and talk to me instead of texting me)? Are you afraid I'll discover your voice is kind of like the kids in the Vienna Boys Choir and hasn't changed yet? Finally, and here is the real reason why many of these guys want to text or e-mail you, there are the scammers. Yes, they are out there. I have gotten four notifications by the online dating service I am on currently warning me about certain members who had contacted me that were not who they said they were. And the funny thing is the dating service said I should be in no danger now because: 1) they have removed these profiles; and 2) as long as I didn't give them bank account information or other personal info, I should be safe. WHAT?!?!!? Who in the hell would give a complete stranger (an electronic one they have never set eyes on) their bank account info? Apparently, it happens (i.e. the other person says they don't have the money to make the trip to meet them face to face so the vulnerable person wires them money). Well, I'm really skeptical now more than ever so I've sort of become this online dating sleuth who seeks out scammers on the site. It's almost as fun as writing this blog. I've spotted two already and gotten thank you notes from the dating service. Here are a few ways to spot them:

•  They have a perfectly written profile but when you start exchanging e-mails their English is always choppy like English is their second language or they use text talk
• They use vague terms for their occupation (e.g. civil engineer covers a plethora of jobs as does technician) and they won't go into details when you ask them what they do
• They don't talk about their families -- when you ask them if they have children they say they would rather learn more about you
• They choose vague cities as their residences -- New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Chicago -- instead of listing their actual cities (e.g. Millersville, Greggtown, etc.) 
• They immediately want to use a different form of correspondence than the online dating service e-mail system because they say it's easier
• They don't upload a photo and don't send you one when you ask for it
• They never want to talk on the phone (if you give them your number) they just want to text

I'm not saying a person who does one of these is definitely a scammer but if he/she does two or more, its a pretty safe bet they are not who they claim to be or they are out to scam you (or at the very least, they aren't serious about dating you, just playing games with you and who has time for that?). So, there you have it, the online dating web-waves are safer because of me. You are welcome! :-)