Flicking a booger and running ...

I like it when a guy starts a conversation with me. It makes me feel like I warranted special attention for him to seek me out and talk to me.

 

Conversations starter examples:

• Hello. I like your photos. My name is Joe. What is yours?
• Hi, I know a great place that makes the perfect daiquiri. Want to go? Joe
• Hey, I'm Joe, and your profile was really funny. 

However, I do not like it when guys waste my time by sending me an e-mail with one word as if to "poke" me -- I call it flicking a booger and running (kind of like a little boy would do in kindergarten if he really liked a girl, he would be mean to her). Here are examples:

• Hey
• Wow
• Awesome
• s'up?
• Hi
• Hello
• Hot!
• Chat?

 

Do not poke me! If you want to start a conversation with me in a way that will make me want to communicate with you and possibly go out with you, you have to put some effort into it. One word pokes are lazy and indicative of how you will be in the rest of the relationship (i.e. LAZY!). That flick-a-one-word-e-mail trick might work with other women but it doesn't work for the intelligent ones like me. When you send me those stupid one word pokes I instantly put you in the "too lazy to bother with" folder and discard your profile. My good friend and online dating confidant (we'll just call her Goldilocks because she has fabulous long golden hair like a Barbie doll) actually kept the above screenshots of her lazy guys trying to start a conversation. Yes, Goldilocks and I showed them to our girlfriends. Yes, Goldilocks and I laughed at them. And, yes, Goldilocks and I deleted you. If you can't take the time to come up with something genuine and original to show me you are truly interested in starting a conversation with me, then I don't even give you the time of day to respond. So, advice of the day, lazy guys, go put on your big boy trousers, load the dictionary/thesaurus app onto your mobile phone and try making a coherent sentence in e-mail format before trying to start conversation with intelligent women on the dating website.