He wore WHAT?!?!?

This is not the person I met for a date, but this is the fanny pack! Photo from the blog: http://thetiffingirl.blogspot.com/2013_04_01_archive.html

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize," Olympia Dukakis' character (Clairee Belcher) in the movie, Steel Magnolias.


I had a date recently that absolutely made me rethink all of mankind if I take Clairee's statement to heart. I was chatting with a guy on the online dating website and we decided we should meet in person. We decided to meet at happy hour at a local Ritz Carlton bar. I do this for a few reasons:

1. I really like the atmosphere of most RC bars
2. It's not the kind of place where you will be fighting for a bar stool or pushing away the local drunk
3. It gives me a good idea of what a guy would look like "cleaned up". Yes, I need to do this because I go to a lot of high-class functions that require tuxes and suits. I need to know that my mate can clean up appropriately.

This guy shows up in khaki shorts, green T-shirt under a short sleeved yellow checkered button up shirt, brown beat up loafers and a black fanny pack. Yes, a FANNY PACK! Not only did he not match or take any pride in what he was wearing, he wore a theme park accessory you wear when you have been dating a person for a year or two (or married to them forever) and you don't have to worry about impressing them anymore.

Guys, please use the following to decide appropriate attire (at a minimum) for first date venues:

• RC, Four Seasons or other high-end establishment = Dark trousers, long sleeved button up shirt, clean/nice dress shoes (suit and tie are preferable)
• Chain restaurant or sports bar = Nice jeans or khakis, button up shirt or golf shirt, nice shoes
• Sporting events = Nice jeans, sports shirts (team logo baseball caps are acceptable for this occasion only), running/athletic shoes
• Coffee shops = Nice jeans, polo shirt and athletic shoes or loafers/boaters

At no time on a first date do we women want to see your knees in shorts or your un-pedicured feet in sandals (and no, socks with sandals does not help). Keep that stuff covered until at least the 2nd or 3rd date no matter how well maintained you are. Did you notice that the fanny pack was not mentioned at all? That's because it is never alright to wear one on a date!  Need a place to keep your wallet? Try your pocket.